From the Abyss
by Sara Loui
Summary: Sequel to Back into the Abyss. Sam and Jack have too deal with emotional trauma after their torture at the hands of Baal. Please R&R Chapter 8 now up peeps.
1. Shock

OK so this is a sequel to my fic Back into the Abyss and I'm not too sure how it will read as a fic on it's own as yet but please R&R as I really appreciate it.  
  
(A little summary about B I T A, Sam and Jack were captured by Baal who had built another hidden fortress. A to'kra had infiltrated the fort and had escaped with its information but the shields protecting the fortress had to be taken out before the Asgard could step in and help. It was decided Sg1 joined by Malek and Jacob would go in and take out the shields, but they were ambushed and Sam and Jack captured. Undergoing even worse torture than Jack's first encounter ((in the TV episode - Abyss)) especially Sam whom Baal ultimately wants to have as his handmaiden. Daniel visits Sam when she is the dreamlike state in the sarcophagus and many people want me too address this issue again! They escape and finally contact the Asgard and are rescued. Here ends the story, and left a part for a sequel which I am about to present. I am not sure how it will go but I hope it lives up to the expectations of the people who enjoyed Back into the Abyss. Lurve Sara Lou)  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own any of the characters, definitely don't own Stargate and I don't make any money out of writing these stories. Sit back and enjoy peeps.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shock ~~~~~  
  
Foreword  
  
Jack and Sam were beamed aboard the Asgard ship using the ring system and the Asgard's own beam out technology. Baal's former Jaffa also joined them and once all were safely aboard the Asgard destroyed the fortress. They returned to earth where Jack swiftly gave, a brief summary of what happened. It was decided Tealc would beam to the Asgard ship and accompany the Jaffa rebels to the Alpha Site where he would explain all to Jacob and Master Bratac. He would return with Jacob when all had been settled. Meanwhile Jack and Sam had beamed back to stargate command where they were quickly ushered to the infirmary. We join them there.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Jack gladly allowed himself to be ushered onto an awaiting bed by one of the nurses. He lay back and closed his eyes allowing a moment of bliss wash over him. He awoke to find the moment of bliss had turned too 5 hours. He had been too exhausted even too undress. Shifting uncomfortably in his clothes he rubbed his tired eyes and lay back closing them once more. Sighing he heard familiar footsteps coming towards him. He opened an eye briefly to see Janet Frasier. Hadn't he been through enough of an ordeal without a certain doctor checking him over? He smiled softly to himself, he liked her really. Moreover, he trusted her completely but she could be worse than the General could when it came to following orders. He didn't want her poking and jabbing. He just wanted to sleep. She was always fascinated by eyes. Amazing, doctors would gaze into them with bright lights thinking maybe that's where the problem lay. Yeah that's the reason why his knees got stiff sometimes or his back would feel strained. Its all in the eyes. He could feel her looking down at him, probably with a concerned and furrowed look. He forced an eye open once more. Yup there it was.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
he was surprised at her overwhelming concern. She wasn't poking, wasn't jabbing just asking as a very concerned friend. He was a little taken aback. It wasn't like Janet to get so emotional. And how was it she could sound so concerned when only uttering two words?  
  
"Colonel?"  
  
Now she sounded even more concerned. 'Maybe if I answered she wouldn't sound as concerned. But am I ok?' Jack furrowed his brow wondering how to answer the statement. He did not really know.  
  
"I'm home aren't I? How's Carter?"  
  
Hating tense emotion filled moments Jack shifted his thought to his 2IC. He opened both his eyes and glanced round the infirmary. Where was Carter? He thought she had been ushered into the same room as him. He looked back at Janet. 'Is she biting her lip?'  
  
"Where's Carter"  
  
Concern overwhelming him. He sat up and went to move off the bed. He felt a hand touch him softly, commandingly keeping him on the bed.  
  
"She's going too be fine Colonel. I just want to run some tests."  
  
Jack froze under her touch. She didn't seem to be giving him the whole story. He had known her long enough. He raised his free arm and placed his fingers onto her hand, which still lay, on his other arm.  
  
"What's wrong Janet?"  
  
He looked her intensely in the eye. It was his 2IC for crying out loud. He had a right too know. And something was definitely wrong, he wanted to know what.  
  
"She was fine. We made her comfortable, like you fatigue became the better of her and she fell asleep."  
  
"So where is she?"  
  
Jack was getting impatient.  
  
"She seemed fine up until a few hours ago, I was keeping you both in here. It was easier to keep an eye on you both. A nurse came for me and said Sam had woken up. And she had. She was just staring, I checked her out."  
  
Janet hesitated and Jack felt like grabbing her and yelling at her to spit out what she was getting at. She was weirding him out. It wasn't like Janet to speak so, unprofessionally. Normally big words and nonsense was spoken and he would turn to anyone else for help with the mumbo jumbo. Not this time, she was stumbling with her words and was obviously very concerned for her best friend's wellbeing. She seemed to shake herself out of it enough to be able to continue with her explanation.  
  
"She's in a state of shock Colonel. She doesn't respond too much. She has been awake for the past two hours and hasn't spoken a word. She seems to recognise people. Jonas has been sitting with her, but she will not eat, or drink anything. We moved her because when she first awoke she started flailing her arms around and yelling incoherently about something. If she doesn't eat something soon I'm going to have to put her on a drip."  
  
Jack swallowed, his throat felt dry. He stared at Janet, unable to respond to what she had told him. He couldn't understand it. Sam seemed to have held herself together till the very end. He hadn't even considered what type of emotional scar this would leave on her. He closed his eyes and wearily rubbed his hand over them once more. His mind filled with clear memories of Sam and her agonising tortures at the hands the gould.  
  
"Jack. We were hoping you would be able to shed some light on what happened. Did Baal administer any drugs to you both? Or were you made to eat or drink anything?"  
  
Janet was grasping at straws. Jack shuddered inwardly. The mental pictures made him feel cold and nauseous. He shook his head.  
  
"No doc"  
  
She looked a little relieved. He continued, and the relief gave in once more to fear and anxiety.  
  
"What happened to her was much worse than that"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. Silent whispers

Silent Whispers  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jonas sat back and ran a hand over his face. His eyes ached, but he wanted to stay awake in case Sam shook herself out of her lethargic state. His mind was buzzing; he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept properly. He and Tealc had been taking shifts in their quest to get Sam and Jack back from the hands of Baal. Both had felt a little guilt at following the orders of Jack and abandoning the two  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
They had come under fire and nearly gotten surrounded themselves. They managed to meet up with Jacob and Malek but had been forced to retreat back to the Stargate. Rather than advance and help Sam and Jack. After sending information too the base, Hammond had ordered them back through fearing for their safety. They had contacted the Asgard who instantly made their way too the planet. However, they could do nothing until the shields were down on the fortress. They could only hope that somehow the Colonel and Major could finish their primary mission. So the wait had begun, He and Tealc had tried to persuade the General to let them go back too the planet with another team but he had refused. He would not let them walk into another trap. He had faith in his two officers. Malek and Jacob had returned to the Alpha base keeping in contact with the SGC for any news of the two.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Looking at Sam, Jonas felt a pang of emotion surge through him. She looked lost, and in need. But he didn't know how too reach her, but he would sit here until she gave him a sign that she needed him. He wanted her too know he was there for her. She'd do the same for him. He considered going too see Jack but he would hate to think Sam would awake alone and so he would wait until someone she knew came too see how she was doing. He was not leaving her bedside till then. He had tried to concentrate on a book, but his mind buzzed with thoughts of what the two had suffered. After reading the reports of O'Neill's first experience at the hands of Baal and seeing the state the two had been in when arriving he didn't even want too imagine what had happened this time around.  
  
He shifted forward in his chair. Sam had been laying peacefully, her first few peaceful hours since Janet had too give her some mild sedatives. Now her mouth was moving, silent and small. At first, he though it was a small twitching at the corners of her mouth, but as he leant forward, she seemed too be whispering. Silent whispers. He tried to lip read what she was saying but her mouth barely moved. He lay a hand over hers, and was surprised when her fingers entwined around his own. He lifted his other hand and ran them over her forehead looking down at her strained exhausted face. She looked pale and weak. He had never seen her in such a state. His brow furrowed in concern. He looked down on her for a long time. He felt the urge to talk to her. He wasn't sure what he should say, but..  
  
"Sam, can you hear me? You're home now. We're all pretty worried about you. Your not doing too good."  
  
He paused. He didn't know if she could hear him, but things had been so quiet for so long. He wanted her too know he was there and she wouldn't know that unless she could hear him.  
  
"Sam, you have to pull yourself out of this. Don't try and deal with this on your own. You know we all care right? Your family want you back."  
  
She showed no reaction but he smiled softly down too her, patience was the key too them all pulling through this. He sat back in the chair but his fingers still entwined hers. He sat like that until Tealc and Jacob arrived. The situation had been explained too them both. Jonas slipped his fingers from Sam's, Jacob laid a hand on his shoulder and pressed his fingers firmly, a thanks for his vigilance. Tealc and Jonas then exited the room.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"You need rest JonasQuinn."  
  
"I'm fine Teal'c."  
  
"Indeed you are not. You must rest. You are no use to O'Neill or Samantha in your condition. I insist you go and rest for a few hours. I will send someone for you if Samantha awakes and O'Neill is not permitted more than one visitor at a time"  
  
"What about you Teal'c? When was the last time you rested?"  
  
"I went through kelnoreem at the alpha site before returning as Jacob Carter had some unfinished business to attend too."  
  
Looking defeated for a moment Jonas saw the concern in Tealc's face and admitted too himself that he should go and rest. He knew Tealc would keep his promise and send word if any developments occurred. He excused himself and headed for his quarters.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Teal'c watched his young friend leave and headed towards Jack's temporary quarters in the infirmary. He was pleased to see Jack sitting up in bed, reading a paper that one of the nurses had given him. O'Neill's face lit up when he saw his close friend standing in the doorway.  
  
"It is good too see you are well O'Neill"  
  
"Thanks T, pull up a chair"  
  
"Thankyou. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Tired, a little achy but I'll survive. How's Carter?"  
  
"Major Carter has not awoke. Jacob has just relieved Jonas from sitting with her. She has showed no sign of coming out of her shocked state."  
  
Tealc looked at his friends dejected face. Worry for both his friends was exhausting him and he had had too kelnoreem for longer each time since they had went missing. Their abduction had caused a lot of stress for himself and his symbiote had been affected also. Nevertheless, he was strong and determined, he and Jonas had managed to keep each other and other around them in high hopes. When they had found O'Neill and Samantha relief had given the stress and tension an escape and thus the last kelnoreem had taken longer than he had intended and he had woken from his semiconscious state finding Jacob waiting for him. Concern had filled him once more when they had found out Samantha had slipped into a state of shock. However, he needed to be strong now for O'Neill and Samantha. He pushed the concern too the back of his mind.  
  
"I believe Samantha will pull around in her own time. She is strong and will find her way from the place she may find herself in. I have faith in Major Carter's ability too fight against the internal struggle she is most likely enduring"  
  
Jack seemed too draw strength from his words. He sat back against the pillows of his bed. Tealc considered questioning him about the experiences, they had endured but he had known O'Neill long enough. He would explain in his own time. Tealc sat and watched as his friend fought his own internal battles. Eventually the battles overcame him and he slept once more. Tealc stayed by his bedside. Thinking, of the woman lying in her own pain in the next room. Of the young man who they had slowly allowed into the fold and who had become a firm member of their family. Of the man who stood in the background offering a silent strength and silent vigil too his subordinates. Of the man who from the beginning had strangely trusted him completely and who he had grown too respect, never questioning a motive or order. Too the woman he had fallen in love with and whom at this moment had entered to check on O'Neill. After making Jack more comfortable she had lain a hand reassuringly on his shoulder, questioning him with her eyes. He had bowed his head respectfully and his hand lay over hers for moment. She bent over and kissed his forehead softly before exiting too take vigil by her best friends bedside, leaving him too his own silent vigil and his own silent thoughts. 


	3. Walking, waiting, wanting

Walking, Waiting, Wanting.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
She heard their voices, echoing. Voices on the wind. She had followed the road, it seemed to end but as she neared, the end it grew further the end grew distant. She would continue and still it would not come near. However, if she rested he would come. Moreover, she did not want to return. With him lay pain and torture. He revelled in torturing souls, torturing her soul. She feared her strength would wan and she would give in too his torture, she was too proud to grovel and beg for mercy. She could not run, her feet would move no faster than the pace she was travelling at.  
  
She cursed the voices, they were mocking her. Daring her to answer. She had called for them when she was in need, but they had not answered. Only he had answered and he was not calling her name and so she stayed silent, and wandered along. She had been resting, but the voices had woken her and now even after the cries had become quieter the echoes of their cries still carried along the wind, falling on her ears. She wanted to stay but her heart fought her stubborn mind and made her walk towards them. She admitted she had ran for a time, even tried too call for them at first. But her throat was so cold and dry. She felt her voice was now lost, maybe it was through her stubborn refusal too answer the calls, or from the torture she knew she had encountered. As distant as the cries on the wind, so were the visions of her torture. The further she walked from them. The more distant their memory and so if only too keep from the horrific thoughts her feet marched along never wavering from their stride, never faltering on the path underfoot.  
  
A soft light shone by her side. She was conscious of it but did not turn too look. Its silent presence was a strength and comfort and she was happy knowing it was there. Therefore, she walked, knowing neither day nor night. How long she needed too travel she did not know, but she continued neither breathless nor fatigued. The light by her side keeping her focused on the road ahead.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"JonasQuinn?"  
  
Jonas heard a voice dragging him from his fatigued state. He furrowed his brow and gathered his last strands on sense together.  
  
"Tealc? What's going on?"  
  
"Doctor Frasier has refused too let me stay by O'Neill's side any longer. She insisted you and I go and get something too eat"  
  
"Couldn't you have waited till I'd woken first T?"  
  
"You have slept for 7 hours JonasQuinn, I do not remember the last time either of us had anything of sustenance too east. DoctorFrasier has insisted we do not return for at least an hour, unless there is change in which case she will send someone too fetch us"  
  
Jonas sat up quickly. Seven hours? He'd slept for seven hours? It felt like only a few. Tealc was right, they needed too eat and then they could go and check Jack and Sam. Sam, no change or someone would have come for him. His heart sank lower, there had too be something they could do.  
  
He swivelled his body and stood from his bed. He had slept in his clothes, having fallen into an exhausted sleep. He would get something too eat and have a quick shower before going back too see his colleague. He and Tealc headed towards the mess hall. Their thoughts filled with hope for their two friends. All they could do was wait.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Jack awoke from another deep slumber with a jolt. Vivid memories were in his mind. Nightmares had accompanied his sleep. He had been in the torture chamber, in the gravity well. Memories of his first experience and his more vivid second meeting had melded into one. His voice had given up to cries of pain. A dagger had buried into his chest, which had caused him to awake. He wiped cold beads of sweat from his face with the back of his hand. He glanced around as his eyes became accustomed to the dim rays of a light left on at the far end of the room. He shifted uncomfortably. His body felt stiff and ached, he slowly rotated his neck, trying too take out the tension. Sitting up he wondered how Sam was. He considered sneaking from his bed and going too check for himself. Nevertheless, decided he would rather be back with Baal than suffer the wrath of Janet Frasier. The woman was a hawk. He glanced up at the small camera set in the corner of the room surprised she had not arrived already.  
  
He picked up the small glass of water from his bedside, the coolness easing the grain of his throat. He looked around boredly. He didn't want too sleep, and he didn't want to think. He wanted too see Sam. He wanted a shower and he really wanted something too eat, but first. He manoeuvred himself slowly off the bed, his legs wobbled for a moment under his weight and he leaned on the bed regaining his balance. He picked up the robe, which had been folded over the nearby chair and slipped it on as he turned toward the restroom, which thankfully was situated ensuite in the particular room where he was situated.  
  
When he returned from the bathroom the sight of his CO and Doctor Death standing waiting greeted him for him. Janet was looking unhappy and the General was glancing about vaguely at the instruments. Jack rolled his eyes too the ceiling for a moment and walked back to his bed.  
  
"Nice to see you up and about Colonel" said Janet in an icy tone.  
  
"I don't do bed pans doc" he replied, "General Hammond. You're a sight for sore eyes Sir"  
  
Hammond smiled for a brief moment.  
  
"How are you feeling Jack?"  
  
"Restless Sir. Need a change of scenery. I was hoping I could go for a wander, maybe see Carter?"  
  
"I'm afraid that's in the Doctors hands Jack. I am about too go and see Major Carter myself; Doctor Frasier told me you were awake again. I just wanted too make sure your ok?"  
  
Jack smiled too himself at the General's concern. The man had a hell of a job and still found time too worry for every single person of his personnel.  
  
"I will survive Sir."  
  
Jack was silent for a moment. He wanted to say more but could not find the words. He needed too think but it was too soon. The General patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"SG1 is on stand down indefinitely Jack. Until you and Sam are back in shape your on downtime. I want you all too go and have a break. Tealc and Jonas need it as much as you both, and being together will do you all some good."  
  
"Yes Sir, thankyou Sir"  
  
The General excused himself and went in to see Sam, who had still not awoke. Janet started checking over Jack's vitals.  
  
"So doc when can I go and see her?"  
  
"As soon as you're finished here Colonel. Sam still hasn't woken up"  
  
Her voice was low as she spoke, Jack knew this was having a hard time on her as well.  
  
"I know Carter. She'll fight this."  
  
Janet finished her check and after what seemed like a life time of waiting he was finally permitted to go and sit by the bedside of his 2IC. 


	4. Paths of Life

Paths of Life  
  
Jack sat by Sam's bed looking intently on her face, which seemed troubled even in her sedated state. Dark circles encompassed her eyes and frown lines etched along her forehead. Jack studied her face; his mind casting back over the events they had come through. He had past experience of dealing with this, she had not, somewhere between their escape from the fortress and their arrival at the SGC Sam's mind had given in too the stress, and she had fallen too the wayside. He moved his seat closer too her bedside and took her hand in his. Her palm was cold and as it lay in his hand lightly, he felt a soft tremble shivering along her fingers. His fingers tightened their grip around her hand and he ran his other hand over her forehead flicking her hair back from her face. As his fingers traced over her forehead the lines seemed too drop slightly and her frown started too relax. He continued his soft caress seeing her respond slightly too his touch. He leaned forward over her, his fingers tracing soft lines along her forehead and cheek bones and whispered softly too her.  
  
"Hey Sam, where are you? You're getting us all worried. I don't know if you can hear me but I'm gonna say this anyway. I need you, we all do. You're a special person too us all Sam and we don't want too lose you. So your not allowed too give in to this. Your too strong too let something like this defeat you."  
  
Her fingers twitched slightly in his hand and he took this as a sign that somehow somewhere in that active mind of hers, she was listening too his voice, to his words. A voice deep down inside him told him too continue. He watched her face, her expression, and every slight movement as she breathed softly.  
  
"Tell you what Sam. I'll make you a deal, you wake up and I won't tell Tealc that you fancied him for like the first two years he was with us."  
  
He smiled as her mouth twitched softly. Yeah, she could hear him, it was just a way of leading her back too the surface. He continued offering first soft praises too her and adding small anecdotes and sarcastic remarks.  
  
"Who's gonna talk to your plants if you don't come too? I could explain the Simpson's too them, 300 episodes in the making. And your bike, I never was one for motorbikes myself but hey if your not gonna be using your for a while, or I could let Jonas us it I suppose. I mean I know he isn't a good rider yet but after a few crash tests with your heap of junk I'm sure he'll be much improved"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Janet stood by the door with Tealc and Jonas and smiled softly as the Colonel leaned over his 2IC and whispered small talk too her. They had slipped in quietly too see how they were both doing too find the Colonel talking over Sam as she lay still in her unconscious state. Janet's fingers had found Tealc's and had softly entwined with them as she watched the Colonel, she had been about too interrupt him, pulling her embrace from Tealc but his hand steadily kept their fingers tightly entwined and had looked down at her with a look of silent content. Her eyes moved back too the Colonels form and she realised maybe he was doing a better job than she could at this moment .All she could do was medically keep Sam in a comfortable stable state. As a friend, she could keep a silent vigil over all of her and her family, being a strength too them as they were too her. The trio had exited as silently as they had entered and Jonas sank into a chair situated in the corridor outside. Janet had ushered him from the chair into the room directly next too Sam's onto the available bed. He had lain down, the moment his head hit the pillow his eyes had shut heavily, and he allowed sleep to overtake him, knowing if anything happened he would be one of the first too know. Janet and Tealc went into Janet's office and sat in the low sofa she had situated by the wall. They held each other in a close embrace and Tealc kept his strong arms around her as sleep also overtook her and she feel asleep in he arms of the man she loved.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She stopped, a different familiar voice carried along the wind. The scene seemed too change around her like the turning of a page, images swirling in the corner of her eye. She twisted around in her position, luscious fields of green spread for miles, some fields splashed with colours of Mother Nature. She looked back and realised the reason why her walk had been slow and heavy was because she had been climbing slowly up an embankment, but the road ahead was straight and level. She no longer felt afraid of what was behind her and the end of the road seemed that much closer. The voices were still there being carried by the wind, but they were stronger, louder and more familiar. She still did not call out too them but continued her walk once more. She was surprised too see a small bench set off the path and even more surprised that she felt someone was motioning for her too sit and rest. She expected the bench too grew further from her as she walked toward it but it stayed in its solitary stance whispering for her too rest her weary state upon it. She reached it and sat down, stretching her tired feet in front of her and arching her neck back feeling a warm light resting upon her face. She bathed in its warmth for a moment, listening too the whispers on the wind, comforted by the familiarity of the tune it carried, before opening her eyes slowly, feeling a presence nearby.  
  
A man stood by her, looking down on her pose. A smile etched his mouth; his stance was that of someone satisfied with what they saw before him. He stood arms folded, head slightly cocked too the side and his eyes conveyed too her feeling of warmth and encouragement.  
  
"Hey Daniel"  
  
"Hey Sam"  
  
She patted the bench next too her and he took up her invitation and sat by her side. They sat for a moment looking out over the scene before them.  
  
"You've been walking for a long time Sam"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"You know everyone is worried. They want you back with them Sam"  
  
"I had things too think about"  
  
"What have you been thinking about?"  
  
"Life"  
  
"Life?"  
  
"Yeah Life."  
  
"What about life Sam?"  
  
"We live a strange life Daniel"  
  
"Who does?"  
  
"Me, you, Jack, everyone. Were so caught up in our world of saving people, risking our lives too defeat evil. And yet we never seem too take a chance too stop and think about where life is leading us"  
  
"And what are your thoughts on the matter now that you've had time too think about it?"  
  
"Well at first I thought that we just had too walk the path were put upon, no arguments, no complaints. In the end it's just me and the road."  
  
She looked along the path she had walked too the left of her, and then too her right along the road which would lead her home. Daniel nudged her companionably for her too continue.  
  
"And now?"  
  
"And now I kind realise, it's not just me. All our paths entwine with one another. We can't walk along them by ourselves. We need the people around us. My life is not the SGC, it isn't about figuring our equations or saving the world from the next Gould."  
  
Her eyes were fixed on the embankment, which stretched away from them. She shifted her gaze too look at Daniel. His eyes were fixed upon her face, the smile still upon his lips. She realised their hands had fond each other and she could feel his fingers lightly touching hers.  
  
"My life is Jack and Tealc and Jonas and the General and Janet, and you only you're not there all the time. But you all walk the same path as me and when one of us falls, the others pick us back up and set us on our feet again. Sometimes its only one of us, who can help another, other times we all need too rally round too get our feet in motion again."  
  
Her eyes bore into his, his were filled with a knowing of something. She smiled and nudged him back with her shoulder gently.  
  
"Is this one of those life lessons that you know about, its just us 'lower beings' of un-ascended state who don't quite fully understand and so you give us a test to get the picture?"  
  
Daniel smiled and slipped his hand from hers, sliding an arm around her. She rested her head against his shoulder  
  
"I didn't figure it out till I ascended Sam. Some people have already figured it out, and others need too be shown. Deep down everyone knows they will always need people around them too set them back on their feet. Only some people are too proud too admit too it."  
  
They sat in comfort and silence together. The voices whispering on the wind echoed in their ears.  
  
"They're calling for you Sam. Now it is up too you and them too get back on the right path. They need you as much as you need them remember."  
  
She sat up and looked once more into his eyes. A moment of sadness and longing coming between them.  
  
"You need us too Daniel, and we need you"  
  
"I know Sam, you still have me and your all always there for me."  
  
Her gaze followed the whispers along the path.  
  
"He needs you Sam. He needs too know you are all right. You know that man is stubborn as a mule. He won't recover until he knows you're safe. He loves you Sam and you love him"  
  
"I love you too Daniel"  
  
"I know you do Sam. But our love is something different all the time. We love as friends, as kindred, as kin. As passionate lovers or twisted love of enemies. But you and him. That's a different love. That's something you both want and need. It fills your souls, your longings, your desires your paths are so entwined if he lost you Sam, he would never be the man he is or could be. You're his constant and he is yours."  
  
"It can never be Daniel"  
  
Sam looked at him with tear filled eyes. She knew he was right and a fear of never having what he described troubled her soul. Daniel held her close too him, dropping kisses into her hair.  
  
"Not yet Sam but I promise, you two have a future together. It may seem a long time too come and it won't be in the very near future but you two will be given your chance and you'll grasp on with both hands as you always do."  
  
She hugged him close and took too heart his words. They broke their embrace and stood holding hands for a moment. Daniel smiled and leaned too her, kissing her softly on the lips, pulling back he turned and pulled her gently back onto the path. Their hands broke apart and they walked in silence along the road, the voices became louder and beckoned them forth.  
  
"Ready Sam?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Daniel?"  
  
"Yeah Sam?  
  
"Love You"  
  
"Love you too Sam"  
  
~~~~~TBC~~~~~ 


	5. R&R

Rest and Recuperate  
  
Janet covered the sleeping Colonel with a blanket and exited the room. She should have insisted on having him return too his own quarters but she didn't have the heart. From his reaction before she knew the two had been through a lot and Jack seemed to be perking up. He somehow was conveying the fact that he wanted and needed to be with Sam and Janet had no objections as long as he himself was improving. Jonas was still asleep in the adjacent room and Tealc had had to retire himself to kelnoreem. She had awoken only twenty minutes ago herself but the forty five she had managed to get for herself in the comforting arms of Tealc had perked her up slightly. She had found Jack dosing in his seat and after a quick check over Sam, she decided to leave them for now. She entered her office and picked up the telephone dialling for the outside line and then her own home number.  
  
"Hello"  
  
"Hey Cass its mom"  
  
"Oh hey mom, I was just about too call. I was starting to wonder where you'd got to. Which team is in dire need of your help this time?"  
  
Janet had kept the disappearance of Sam and Jack from Cassie not wanting her to worry. And she was still reluctant to say, especially considering Sam's condition.  
  
"Oh you know honey, Sg-7 couldn't resist the temptation of checking out a few close views of staff blasts and zat nikatels and Sg9 thought they have a look too!"  
  
Janet hoped she sounded as perky as she was trying to be. She was rewarded with a chuckle from Cassandra.  
  
"So don't expect you home soon then mom right?"  
  
"Sorry honey I'm not to sure what time I'll be home, have you eaten?"  
  
"Yeah I had a pizza out of the freezer. Mom, when you see Sam ask her to call me. She promised we'd go shopping on her next downtime but she hasn't called in like a week. I know she gets busy but gee's."  
  
Janet held back a choke of oncoming tears and tried to shake herself together.  
  
"I will honey. SG1 have been pretty busy as of late, I'll tell her you want to speak to her when I can. Well honey I have a stack of paperwork to do, are you gonna be ok by yourself or do you want me to send someone over?"  
  
"Would it be ok to invite Nikki over? It's the weekend so its not like we have school."  
  
"Sure honey that would be fine. Just don't trash the house, and no boys!"  
  
"Mom"  
  
Janet smiled at the whining voice of her sixteen year old daughter.  
  
"Ok Cass I'll phone you in the morning ok, call me if there's any problems"  
  
"Bye mom, love you"  
  
Janet smiled as was about to say love you back but heard the familiar click on the other end as her daughter put the telephone down. Placing her own receiver back in its place she shifted her desk lamp to a better position and started on her paperwork.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sam opened her eyes and flinched softly as the light of the room attacked them. She squeezed them shut and opened them again focusing. She lay for a moment a thought of horror crossing her mind as memories of past events flashed, and then she relaxed. Hearing the familiar sounds of machines whirring and voices in adjacent rooms. She turned her head slowly and smiled slightly as the form of a sleeping C.O came into view. She lay watching him, memories of Daniel fresh in her mind also. She thought back over their conversation as she watched Jack sleep. They did need each other, they all needed each other but she and Jack had something special. Jack jumped, his eyes flying open. He looked disorientated for a moment before focusing and resting on Sam, as his eyes met hers she smiled and reached a hand out from the bed. Jack sat up, pushing the blanket away and grasped her hand in his.  
  
"Hey"  
  
"Hey"  
  
"Welcome back to the land of the living. How you doing?"  
  
Sam considered how she was for a moment.  
  
"A little tired, a little drowsy. My head feels fuzzed up and yet I can remember everything so clearly."  
  
Jack looked at her concerned. Sam shifted and gazed about the room. Hadn't she been in another room when they arrived back?  
  
"When was I moved in here?"  
  
Jack wondered whether to wait for Frasier to rejoin them but decided Sam would find out eventually and he did not want anyone disturbing them now.  
  
"You were in shock Sam. You have been out for hours now. Janet had too give you some sedatives to calm you down. You had us worried for a while."  
  
"Sorry Sir."  
  
"No need to apologise Major, you went through some pretty rough stuff. Sg1 are on downtime indefinitely till were all ok"  
  
Sam looked at him worry framing her face, her blue eyes searching his. Had something happened to Tealc and Jonas as well? Jack could have kicked himself and made a mental note to rephrase certain things.  
  
"Don't worry they got back ok, but they were worried about us. Apparently pushing themselves to exhaustion trying to get us back and worrying themselves to death when nothing but waiting was to be done."  
  
Sam didn't lose the worried frown and Jack gripped her hand tighter in his and ran his free hand over her forehead softly.  
  
"Sam their ok. We're ok. We're home and we're fine."  
  
He could feel his own eyes welling up as he looked into hers. Relief was sweeping over both of them. They would be fine eventually. Tears fell silently down Sam's cheeks and he stood settling himself on the side of her bed. She lifted slightly and he hugged her too him, her face in his chest as she sobbed softly against him her arms sliding tightly about his waist. His own face buried into her hair and silent tears of his own fell. They held each other silently for a long time they didn't need to use any words. They had gone through it together, they would recover together.  
  
Their silent embrace was interrupted as the door softly creaked admitting someone. Breaking their grip but not the hold, they both turned their gaze to the door.  
  
General Hammond walked toward them relief that Sam had awoke showing on his face. He approached the bed and Jack slipped his grip from Sam and sat once more on the chair by the bedside. George came by the other side of the bed and took her hand.  
  
"Glad to see your awake Major"  
  
"Thankyou Sir"  
  
"How are you feeling"  
  
"A little dazed and tired. Colonel O'Neill has filled me in on some of the details of what happened after we arrived back"  
  
"Just as long as your ok that's the main thing Major."  
  
He looked at both of them and continued.  
  
"Sg1 is on downtime and I'm ordering you off base as soon as the doctor has released you from the infirmary. I want you all too go somewhere together and rest. I was thinking that maybe you should all go to Colonel O'Neill's cabin. Its quiet, secluded and will give you all a well deserved break."  
  
"Sounds good Sir" replied Jack. The General was right, they all needed the break and being in each others company would help he and Sam cope better. The worse thing was to be left alone with such thoughts Baal had left them with.  
  
"What about reports and debriefings Sir?"  
  
Jack and George both smiled, no matter what the woman had gone through she was still thinking about rules and regulations  
  
"Don't worry about it Major. What I'm concerned about is getting my flagship team back in working order. You can write reports and debrief me when you've rested and recuperated. Until then I'll hear no more about it."  
  
"Yes Sir"  
  
Sam closed her eyes and George looked down at her weary face, he motioned Jack to come with him to the door.  
  
"Is she going to be ok Jack?"  
  
Jack smiled looking at the concern on George's face, which reflected his own.  
  
"Yes George, she'll pull through. She always does. It may take us a little longer but we're family and we'll help each other."  
  
George smiled and nodded, if anything the whole team was stubborn and he knew they would pull through eventually. He patted Jack on the arm and left heading for Doctor Frasier's office too inform her Sam had awoke. 


	6. Downtime

Downtime ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jack shifted slightly in the driving seat and checked his mirrors. As his eyes rested for a second on the rear view he caught a glimpse of Sam and Jonas both asleep, Sam's head resting on Jonas' shoulder and Jonas' head resting on Sam's. He shifted his eyes back to the empty road ahead, he would be glad arrive at the cabin and rest himself. As it was there was another three hours drive ahead and because the only other person who could drive legally was Carter, he was stuck driving. He would have let Tealc drive but the highway patrols were notorious along the stretch of road they were on which reminded him to check his speed. Once they got within an hour of the cabin they were more on back roads and less patrol cars would be around and he mused on the point of swapping with Tealc then. He let out a long sigh and slowed his speed slightly; Tealc looked over to him as he raised his hand to shift his glasses slightly more out of habit than anything else. Tealc watched as his friend rested his hand back on the wheel his face wearing a worn weary expression. He held his gaze for a while thoughts running through his mind of how best to distil the tense atmosphere which for some reason had risen between all the occupants of the vehicle.  
  
Usually they bantered and small talk evolved between them both but for some reason O'Neill had been quiet and resigned since the beginning of their journey. Jack glanced sideways and caught his gaze. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he moved his eyes back to the road. Teal'c raised his brow and returned his own gaze to the scenery passing by them. O'Neill would in due time let whatever was on his mind surface until then he would be supportive in whatever way he could for his friend.  
  
Jonas was jerked awake by the shaking movements of the van as it rolled onto the dirt track. He was about to sit up and stretch when he glanced down and saw Sam still fast asleep on his shoulder which was starting to ache from being in the same position for the last few hours. He looked forward through the front window and a log cabin slowly loomed into view. Jack drew up by the side of the cabin and turned off the engine. Tealc glanced over to him and noticed a softening in his face as he looked out at the cabin. Jack stepped out of the van and stepped up the stairs to the front door unlocking it swiftly and throwing it open. Felt good to be back at the old place. It had been a while. Or it seemed a long time; he wracked his brain trying to remember when exactly the last time he had been at the cabin. He turned back to the van where Tealc was already pulling baggage; Jonas and Sam had not made a move. Jack walked back to the van and opened the back door stooping to glance inside he saw Sam still sleeping against an uncomfortable looking Jonas. Jack smiled and shook Sam's arm softly to wake her. She stirred and opened her eyes yawning. Jonas took a glance her way and yawned as well as she sat up rubbing her sleepy eyes.  
  
"Come on sleepy heads, there's a few things to be done."  
  
"Yes Sir" Sam mumbled softly sliding out of the van, Jonas exited the other side and grabbed some of the luggage Tealc had removed from the van. Sam picked up her own bags Jack, Tealc grabbed the remaining baggage, and they all headed inside.  
  
"Make yourselves at home kids." Said Jack " bedroom's are through here"  
  
He headed down a small passageway, the others followed.  
  
"There's only two bedrooms but there's a sofa bed in the living room as well.  
  
"Carter you can take this one"  
  
He opened the door to his room and stepped inside Sam followed and placed her bags on the floor.  
  
"You sure Sir?" she asked, as this was his usual room.  
  
"Yea" Jack was already heading out back into the passage; he opened the door the opposite into the spare room a small space with two single beds.  
  
"And you guys can take this one" he said to Tealc and Jonas.  
  
"I will sleep in the living room O'Neill. I do not need as much sleep as you and you will be more comfortable in here"  
  
"S'ok Tealc, I don't mind. Anyway I like to get up early for fishing and I won't disturb anyone if I'm through the front. Unless you want to do some early fishing"  
  
"This room will be sufficient"  
  
Jack grinned and stepped back out of the room; going to the airing cupboard he pulled out bed linen and threw some to Jonas for himself and Tealc. He walked back into 'Sam's room' and put the linen folded on the bed. Sam was leaning by the window looking out at the view. Jack stood opposite her and looked out himself.  
  
"Great view ain't it. Should see this place in winter."  
  
"It's beautiful Sir. Never changes."  
  
Jack shook himself, he had plenty of time to take in the familiar views, he had more important things to attend too. He lay a hand gently on Sam's arm as he passed her heading back into the living room.  
  
"Need any help Sir?"  
  
Sam didn't want to spend too much time in her own thoughts. She followed him out.  
  
"Sure Carter. First things first drop the Sir and secondly, think you can remember how to start the fire?"  
  
"I'm sure I can Jack"  
  
Sam headed for the fireplace, knelt by it pulling out a box standing by the side of the hearth, and busied herself starting a fire. Jack filled the kettle and flicked the switch setting out three mugs. He quickly packed away the groceries they had brought and prepared to make the coffees. Sam sat back on her haunches for a moment as the fire started to burn lightly, building logs over it slowly. Standing she walked to the kitchen and leaned over the counter watching her CO as he busied himself pouring hot steaming water into the three mugs. He placed his hands on the surface of the bench and leaned forward toward her, their eyes meeting and holding. A look between two friends still haunted by the past, neither of them wanting to break the look.  
  
"How you feeling?"  
  
Sam gave him a wan smile. He couldn't help but notice the dark circles under her eyes and weary expression the eyes betrayed even though she put on a brave face. She was a fighter but fighting your own demons was hard enough. Sam Carter wasn't someone to let anything they experienced through their line of work effect her outwardly if she could help it. Nevertheless, that didn't mean inside her head she was winning the battle.  
  
"I'm ok"  
  
She shrugged her shoulders and folded her arms as she leant on the counter.  
  
"Just tired I guess. Except everytime I sleep I see images, mixed up memories."  
  
She shuddered involuntarily.  
  
Jack leaned further over the counter.  
  
"You're not the only one"  
  
Sam looked up at him a look of guilt crossing over her eyes. Jack caught it fleeting across her face.  
  
"I'm just saying you're not alone in this Sam"  
  
She looked into his eyes and saw a calm reassurance in them. He smiled and finished preparing the coffees. He placed a cup in front of Sam which she picked up and picked the remaining two from the counter, they walked back to the spare room where Tealc and Jonas were finishing making up the beds. Jack handed Jonas a cup of coffee and glanced round for Sam who had momentarily disappeared. Looking behind him out the door, he saw her in his bedroom making up the bed. He turned his attention back to Tealc and Jonas.  
  
"So Jonas, ever gone fishing?"  
  
"No I've asked Tealc about it but he wont comment much on the sport"  
  
"Tealc how could you keep such precious information like your fishing experiences from him."  
  
Tealc looked up at him with an empty expression.  
  
"I assure you O'Neill I told him all that was necessary"  
  
"Which wasn't much" added Jonas helpfully  
  
Tealc turned his gaze to the younger man and raised a brow.  
  
"Not much at all"  
  
"I've got a spare rod if ya wanna give it a try Jonas"  
  
"Sure thanks"  
  
Jack frowned as he heard a stifled giggle coming from the room opposite. He turned and stepped through the hall to his bedroom. Sam looked up at him, and bent her head back to making the bed hiding a smile.  
  
"Something funny Sam?"  
  
"Not at all. I wonder how many fishing companies would benefit from your enthusiastic selling skills of the fishing sport or Tealc's for that matter!"  
  
"At least I don't get passionate about doohickies and gadgets which could ultimately cause serious side effects if put in the wrong hands"  
  
Sam stood and feigned a frowning expression  
  
"Those doohickies and gadgets also can save your life as well Sir"  
  
Jack feigned a look of importance.  
  
"Any more insults about my interests will result in your taking part of them Major"  
  
Sam rolled her eyes and raised a hand to her forehead  
  
"Oh the horror"  
  
Jack grinned and she returned the smile. 


	7. Comrades in arms

Comrades in Arms  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The night had settled quickly but peacefully around them. The quiet seemed to soothe the tense atmosphere and they had sat out in the cool night air chatting about things of no concern. The night stars shone brightly above them and the moon had cast reflecting light onto the still lake waters. Sam yawned and strained her eyes to look at her watch. It wasn't that late but she felt so drowsy. She hoped she would sleep better here than she had at the base and that one night at home. She stretched out her legs and picked up her empty cup from beside her.  
  
"Think I'll retire for the night"  
  
She stifled another yawn and stood up.  
  
"Night guys"  
  
"Goodnight Major Carter"  
  
"Night Sam"  
  
"Sleep well Carter"  
  
Sam walked through the kitchen setting her empty cup on the counter. She felt like she could sleep forever. After getting a quick wash and brushing her teeth she stepped into her room, a cool breeze came through the slightly ajar window. She closed it and pulled the curtains closed. She dressed for bed and climbed between the covers, snuggling into the crisp cool sheets. Within minutes, sleep took over her senses.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Jack, Tealc and Jonas sat in silence as Sam excused herself. A few minutes passed before Tealc spoke.  
  
"Major Carter seems to be coping well, however her features betray her true state."  
  
Jack silently agreed. However, she wasn't the only one hiding their feelings. They all were.  
  
"She just needs time. We all do"  
  
"Which is why were here"  
  
Jonas added, running a hand over his temple.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
Jack asked concerned as the young man flinched as his fingers rubbed his temple softly.  
  
"Headache, Doctor Frasier gave me some pain killers just in case they came back on again. Think I'll go take a few"  
  
Jonas stood and entered the cabin; Jack looked over to Tealc.  
  
"Again?"  
  
"JonasQuinn has suffered from them over the time yourself and Samantha were gone. He had little sleep against all insistence from Janet and myself. Humans can be very stubborn"  
  
Jack gave him a wan smile.  
  
"She also said you tried to miss a few kelnoreems yourself and the ones you did take didn't last too long"  
  
Tealc raised a brow to this but chose not too comment. Jonas rejoined them and settled himself on the step.  
  
"I didn't realise Sam talked in her sleep"  
  
Jack looked over to him curiously but Jonas said it as a passing statement rather than a question and didnt find it strange. Jack however did. In the seven years, he had known Sam Carter she had never talked in her sleep.  
  
"You guys want another drink?"  
  
"I am fine O'Neill"  
  
"No thanks"  
  
Jack stood and picked up his cup and it was his turn to head indoors. He flicked the kettle on and then padded softly across to the small passage leading to the bedrooms. He stood outside of Sam's room hearing mumbling's coming from inside. He pushed the door softly open and listened. He heard short sharp breaths and frowned. Looking round the door Sam had pushed the sheets from her body and was currently tossing and turning on the bed, a look of fear and pain on her face, her mouth spilling silent cries. Jack crossed the short space to the bed and laid a hand on her arm softly. She stopped her tossing and seemed to calm slightly. He sat on the side of the bed and lifted his hand from her arm to her face stroking her cheek softly, crooning small soft shushes. Her face started to relax and her mouth turned up slightly at the corners. Jack sat and stared down at her as her breathing calmed and stood, leaning over, as he pulled the sheets back up to cover her body his eyes met with tired blinking grey blues.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
Sam managed to mumble.  
  
"Ssh go back to sleep Sam. You were having a bad dream. Everything's ok"  
  
Sam's brow furrowed and tears welled softly in her eyes before she closed them once more. Jack looked down at her for a moment longer before turning to the door, he took a deep breath pushed all thoughts from his mind and closed it and crossed the floor once more to the bed, settling beside Sam putting and arm protectively around her. She twisted in his arms to face him sliding an arm around his waist as she curled up slightly and settled her forehead against his chest. They fell asleep and for the first time in days, their sleep was not haunted by nightmares of the past. 


	8. Morning thoughts

Morning thoughts  
  
~~~~~  
  
Sam awoke as a reddish hue shone through the window. She squinted as the soft light attacked her senses for a moment before settling down. She felt heaviness surrounding her arms and for a moment, panic arose in her as visions of Baal's torture chamber filled her mind. The panic subsided as quickly as it had risen as she took in her surroundings and realised Jack had his arms wrapped around her. She sighed and twisted noiselessly in his arms, facing the window, catching a glimpse of a red sunrise lit sky. She glanced at the clock, five fifteen. She hadn't had this good a sleep in days. She felt so refreshed. If Jack didn't have his arms locked comfortingly around her she would have slipped out and sat on the porch catching the silence of the morning. As it was she was quite happy to lay with her thoughts in the presence of the sleeping Colonel.  
  
She considered telling him about her visit form Daniel for the hundreth time. She knew she had too, she was just waiting for the right time. In addition, although she would tell him she wasn't sure how much she would tell him. Sam shivered and realised for a moment how cold a morning it was. She managed to release her left arm as Jack's lay over it and round her torso. She pulled the blanket over their arms and snuggled back into his body softly so as not to wake him. From the look of Jack the past few days, he too hadn't been sleeping well. She wasn't disconcerted by the fact they were laying so intimately together and it didn't feel strange as he comfortably laid his cheek on her head.  
  
Sam felt drowsy and closed her eyes again pulling the blanket closer around them. As she dozed her fingers found Jacks lying over her stomach and intertwined with them as sleep called her back to unconsciousness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tealc sat on the porch watching as the sun rose, he had kelnoreemed and it had been most fulfilling. His thoughts now tarried on his son. He pondered on how his son would react to the new woman in his life. His feelings for Janet had become even more intense in recent months and they are relationship had deepened. He felt it right his son should know as early as possible. He had been unsure at the beginning that the relationship could or would work but Janet was of strong character and had been as determined to make the relationship work as she was about making sure all the SG teams were in working order. As the hours slowly passed, he thought back on the past few years of living with the tauri. It had taken time but he had finally in some part of him started to understand them. He thought of the past week waiting for any news of O'Neill and MajorCarter. The days had passed slowly, and he had doubted himself, admitting to Janet he had the chance to return and find two of the few handful of people left in his life but following orders and the protection of the rest of the team had become priority.  
  
Janet had assured him, cajoled him for doubting himself. He had helped the men get back, that when news came he should be ready to act on the information. Never leave a man behind; it was a code of honour he had come to respect. However, Janet had silenced his words with a finger on his lips. O'Neill would not want them walking into a trap. They would wait for information on the situation and she was sure he would be the first General Hammond turned too for help. He had lost so many in recent months; many jaffas had been lost. Good friends warriors. Men whose past intermingled with his own. Who had been in doubt but trusted him enough to follow him in the quest to release them all from the false gods. The death of DanielJackson still weighed heavy in all their hearts also. It interlaced into everything silently lying in the atmosphere. It had been hard to accept Jonas, to allow him into the fold. Tealc had taken to him quickest understanding the strangeness of the situation of the younger man. Now they were here as a family trying to recover from a very dioncerting week.  
  
As he mused the sun rose higher and his thoughts never wavered but connected to each other never pausing for a breath in his active mind. Memories that spanned over many years, none as happy as the most recent apart from snatches of memories of his past such as his marriage, the birth of his son. His realisation he had finally gotten a fighting chance to fight the false gods when he had first lain sight on the three Tauri being held by Aphophis.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jonas awoke from a heavy sleep and blinked into the light. He rolled onto his back and yawned, lying a hand over his eyes. He dozed listening for sounds of movement. He could hear birds singing outside his window, but nothing else. It had been a long time since he had awoken to sounds of practical silence. He mused for a moment listening to the sounds before sitting up. He looked over to Tealc's bed but was not surprised to see it was empty. He pulled on some pants and a T-shirt and ventured out into the hallway. Rubbing a hand over his eyes he softly walked into the kitchen area and glanced over at the living area. Looks like Jack was up too. He flicked on the kettle and frowned wondering where everyone was if they were up. He looked at the clock above the fire mantel, nine thirty. After pouring himself a coffee, he walked to he door of the porch, which led to the small jetty and lake outside and saw the broad form of Tealc stoically sitting on the top step. Jonas ventured through the door and Tealc turned his head to eye him sideways before moving his stare back to wherever it was he was staring.  
  
"Good Morning Jonas"  
  
"Morning tealc."  
  
Jonas stifled a yawn and took a sip of coffee, pulling forward to the step of the porch before settling himself into it. He glanced around the area.  
  
"Where's the Colonel?"  
  
"He has not risen as yet, neither has Samantha"  
  
"Oh I just thought, I didn't see" his voice trailed off  
  
Jonas frowned again his mind still heavy from sleep; he took another sip of coffee and sank back into the chair.  
  
"So how long have you been up?"  
  
"I have been awake for several hours"  
  
"And you've just sat out here all this time?"  
  
"I had many things to think about. The past week has been hectic, it has given me a chance to gather my thoughts on certain matters"  
  
"Oh well at least you've used the time constructively"  
  
Jonas smiled at the weak lame joke but dropped his eyes to his fingers fiddling around the handle of his coffee mug as Tealc gave him an unemotional look and lowered his gaze back to the porch stairs.  
  
"We all have a lot to think about Tealc"  
  
"We do indeed"  
  
"This is the perfect place to think our thoughts through"  
  
"Indeed"  
  
Boy these conversations with the jaffa could get interesting. He smiled and took another gulp of coffee and stared over the lake to the backdrop of mountains. It was so peaceful and quiet. It was like the past week had been a dream, a bad dream that they all had been a part of but slowly were waking from. However, it hadn't been a dream, or nightmare. It had been real and they had come within a hairs breath of losing two more very important people. He had been acutely aware of the atmosphere of the people around them. A grim negativity had hung heavy in the air one even General Hammond hadn't been able to dispel around himself. First Dr Jackson, now Sam and Jack. There was no getting round the fact that there was a distinct possibility the two would not return. It was a sour taste which all the SGC tasted, a bitter reminder that their work was highly dangerous, the risk factor so high it was off the charts. Jonas had been there as the hope had started slipping from their grasp. Nevertheless, just as it was lost completely the Asgard had swooped in a saved the day.  
  
Tealc who had risen and was now standing facing the cabin looking down at him questioningly broke his train of thought.  
  
"Would you like breakfast JonasQuinn"  
  
"Sounds great Tealc, what we having?"  
  
Jonas stood and followed the jaffa into the cabin setting his half-drunk coffee on the counter top.  
  
"I think O'Neill refers to it as 'full English breakfast'"  
  
"Sounds 'interesting'"  
  
"I can assure you Jonas it is very appetising"  
  
Jonas nodded in agreement and started to wash the dishes of the previous night as Tealc, a dab hand when it came to food preparation, prepared the breakfast.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	9. late night talk

Late night talk  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The days seemed to pass quickly and slowly at the same time. They comprised of getting up late, eating hearty breakfasts, swimming or fishing in the lake. Going for walks through the forests or along the trails by the waters edge. Two days had passed and Sam thought they had passed slowly as they went by but settling in front of the log fire for the third night she felt like the week was too quickly coming to an end. Tomorrow would prove to be slightly different as they had promised the General and Janet they would telephone halfway during the week to say how they were. Only thing was they would have to drive into the small town twenty miles away to get to a phone. It would give them a change of scene, although Sam was quite happy to stare at the scenes around her. It was a well deserved rest from their busy lives.  
  
Tealc had settled by her as Jack and Jonas prepared supper. Sam felt spoilt, the men, especially Tealc had been insistent on cooking. She had managed to cook dinner the day before but since then, they had all taken dibs in the kitchen. Sam sat back and smiled, if they wanted to they could, gave her more time to do nothing. She wondered why she did not feel guilty at herself for taking so much pleasure in doing nothing. It was so much unlike her. Sam Carter did not sit around doing nothing for hours on end.  
  
"May I say you are looking better everyday Samantha?" said Tealc looking over at her from his end of the couch  
  
"Aw thanks Tealc" replied Sam from her half-reclined position. She flashed her friend an appreciative smile "It's so relaxing here. I feel like I could stay here forever"  
  
"You say that now but it gets cold in winter Sam" shouted Jack from the kitchen.  
  
Tealc smiled and turned his gaze to the burning fire.  
  
"Does the lake freeze over during the winter months O'Neill?"  
  
"Actually T it does, why?"  
  
"Are you able to fish in the lake at winter?"  
  
"Not unless you get a sledge hammer and break a hole in the ice. Then of course you've gotta be willing to sit out in the cold and freeze your ass off hoping for a bite. So to answer your question, nope you cant fish in the winter"  
  
"Then I agree with Samantha. This would be a most pleasing place to stay, Especially during winter"  
  
Sam took a sly glance over to Jack back to Tealc and burst into laughter. She shook her head and giggled until tears filled her eyes, God how long had it been since she had had a good out and out laugh. Tealc certainly knew when to test his humour out on them. She had to hold her side as a stitch started her laughter becoming uncontrollable for a moment when she heard Tealc's own hearty laugh joining with her own. When they both managed to semble some sort of composure Sam wiped her tear filled eyes to glance over at Jack and Jonas who were standing staring in complete surprise, possibly as Tealc's hearty laugh. Sam sighed and stretched a little more on the sofa. It felt like, for a moment, the black cloud, which had been plaguing her, had lifted a little in that small moment. Tealc still sitting with a beaming smile on his face stared into the fire.  
  
Jack and Jonas looked at each other in surprise as Sam and then Tealc started to laugh heartily. They looked over at the two, Sam was holding her side giggling, and Tealc had his head thrown back in laughter. Certainly seemed contagious over there. Jonas' smile grew wider as he watched the two sharing the joke. Jack watched Sam; it was about time she had a good laugh. It had been a rarity. When the two finally stopped laughing for a moment Sam had looked in his direction and he swore he saw the familiar old sparkle which seemed to light the whole of her eyes. That was also something he missed, he was glad to see it returning. He smiled back to her before bending back over the grill cooking the fish, which he and Jonas had caught, that day proving there was indeed fish in his lake.  
  
He served the fish along with grilled vegetables and a sauce Jonas had made up, after memorising a cookbook. They settled down by the fire, Sam slipped down from her corner of the sofa to the floor by the coffee table nearer the fire to eat. Jonas took her place on the sofa; Jack took a seat by the fireside near Sam. They chatted about the day's events, the kind of idle chitchat that most family shared. There were plenty of other things to talk about but no one was willing to dispel the good laid back atmosphere talking of the week before events, yet each one knew it was inevitable the subject would have to be addressed.  
  
Sam set her plate in the middle of the table as jack poured red wine out for herself and Jonas. He and Tealc had a beer each. Sam hugged her knees to her chest, one arm wrapped around them, and the other hand picking up the glass from the table. She raised it to her lips but did not sip. Her thoughts were filled with memories and images, the light of the fire reminded her of Baal's chamber and she involuntarily shivered. She closed her eyes and pushed the images of that place from her mind. She jumped slightly and tensed as hands rested lightly on her shoulders and pinched softly.  
  
"You ok Sam?" asked Jack from behind her softly.  
  
She relaxed once more and nodded her head.  
  
"Yeah just memories I'd rather soon forget" she replied honestly. If they ever came across alien with the technology to erase certain memories, shed gladly give herself as a test subject.  
  
"We'd all like to forget," said Jack, his fingers gently massaging into her shoulders.  
  
Sam took a sip of her wine and relaxed as Jacks fingers gently kneaded. She nodded, in agreement that is why they were at the cabin.  
  
"Its funny how certain things, smells or images can bring back memories. Make it feel like they happen just yesterday"  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" asked Jonas quietly from the sofa where he was staring past Sam into the flames of the fire. Sam looked over to him but his gaze was concentrated on watching the burning embers. She reached over and set another log on the fire, before leaning back against Jack's chair.  
  
"Just the light from the fire, its like the same light" she paused, Tealc and Jonas didn't even know the full story, in fact she couldn't remember telling even the General or Janet about the torture chamber. Just that Baal had captured them.  
  
"The same light as the torture chamber" finished off Jack. He had thought the same thing. He agreed it was strange that such a small thing could jolt a memory. Jack stole a glance to Tealc and Jonas, who both kept silent. Jonas looked slightly taken aback but catching Jack's glance shifted in his seat took a sip of his wine and waited for either of the two to continue. Tealc kept his gaze on the dancing flames. Jack looked down at Sam, who had nodded softly. Jack was about to continue but Sam seemed to shake herself a little, sat further back. She shifted her position to sit sideways, legs curled under her. She lay an arm comfortably over Jacks legs, turning her back to the fire.  
  
"Some stuffs so vague. It is like waking from a dream and not remembering. Then an image will be so vivid in my mind; I can remember how I felt, what was going on. What was going through my mind? I remember being restrained on this cold hard surface. It felt like concrete, my head was pounding and my body was aching. I could hear sounds, but the light was so dim it was impossible to see. It was like that for a while. I forget what happened then. Maybe I had passed out, nothing happened for so long, or maybe I just do not remember. I do remember feeling tired and weak, and I couldn't think because my head felt like lead. I woke up at one point and there was a man there, he was the one who put those instruments on me. He was so, so revolting. He was leering as he placed instruments on me, at one point he was cutting off my clothing and I remember the way he was looking down at me. I thought maybe, maybe he was going too"  
  
Sam paused her voice breaking slightly, and shivered again, this time a little more violently. She could see his face so clearly and yet in hindsight, looking at what she had suffered at the hands of Baal, maybe what Dal'ric may have done would have been better than what had happened. She smiled and took a sip of wine.  
  
"Funny how a dim light can bring back all that to me"  
  
Jack leaned forward and ran a hand along her arm for a moment.  
  
"I remember seeing you lying on that table. And seeing that Gould's eyes. The pleasure in them. I'll never forget that look. It brought back memories of the first time. I remember thinking if I didn't get out of there, I would have told him everything. Given him iris codes, gate co ordinates. Gladly become his servant just to not go through it all repeatedly. When I back the first time, the amount of guilt I felt was overwhelming. The thought that a few more times and things would have been so different. We wouldn't be sitting here now talking like this for one. He knew who I was, and he knew how close I had been to giving up, handing my life into his hands willingly. He knew he could break me, and he was going to use Sam as bait, and then once he got me he knew he'd have her."  
  
"But he did not break you or Samantha, O'Neill. Moreover, you defeated him. Together you fought, the way you always have. The way We always have, as a team. I doubt very much any others would have been able to survive the first time as well as a second"  
  
"We worried and fretted but we never doubted you'd be back. All the SGC knew you'd be back. To be honest we had no idea if you'd been taken to the fortress or taken by ship elsewhere. However, speaking as someone who hasn't been around that long, the people at the SGC they just don't give up, like there's some unspoken rule about keeping up all hope. On Kelowna, things are so different. Trust is not something you earn or place in someone. Its something that got to be proved, you fail, you cant be trusted, faith isn't given just by face value, by the fact you work as a certain rank. If you are good at your job that is great, but woe, betide anyone who fails. You aren't given second chances. If something like this had happened on Kelowna, they would have given up on you within days. I am not saying it is the people, it is the government and on Kelowna, the government rules practically with an iron fist. I just did not realise until I came here. I think it's the first time in my life I've ever lost sleep worrying over people. All other times its over some superficial thing, like the Naquadria research. Would the bomb be assembled in time, would it be effective. Never people"  
  
Jonas was talking down at his hands, which were holding the stem of the wineglass. He managed to raise his eyes and he lifted the glass to his lips. It was a hard thing to admit especially about his own people, but he had started the path when he had stolen the Naquadria and brought it to the SGC. Since then, he had been learning things about people and himself and the faults in everyone. He also saw change in himself and it was something he was personally proud of. The fact it had not been too late to change. Sam smiled over to him as he raised his eyes for a moment. She knew it had been a hard thing for him to say, but like all things with Jonas, he had handled it well. She suddenly felt very tired and laid her head on her arm closing her eyes for a moment. It had felt strangely easy to open and tell them what she remembered, there was more but she had to deal with things slowly. The memories were still vivid but after sharing, they did not seem so sinister. She smiled as she dosed. It certainly was good to talk. And the presence of three important people in her life made it that much easier to say. She yawned, maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the heat, probably both. She felt jack urging her from using his legs as a pillow.  
  
"I think maybe someone needs an early night"  
  
She smiled and sat up Jack stood and helped pull her too her feet. He picked up some of the dishes and took them to the kitchen  
  
"Maybe you right" she replied, before another yawn set in, she covered her mouth as she mumbled "Night tealc, night Jonas."  
  
"Goodnight Samantha. Sleep well"  
  
"Goodnight Sam" said Jonas standing "I think I'll turn in myself"  
  
"Goodnight JonasQuinn"  
  
"Night Tealc, night Jack"  
  
He followed Sam who had disappeared down the hall towards her bedroom after taking some dishes to the kitchen and saying goodnight to Jack. Tealc joined Jack in the kitchen and helped Jack clear the dishes.  
  
"Kids just can't keep up with the pace," said Jack absent mindedly as he wiped down a bench  
  
"I think both feel somewhat relaxed after our talk tonight"  
  
"Yeah" agreed Jack "Its always good to get thing off the chest and out into the open. I'm glad Sam started opening up a bit"  
  
"I am sure I am safe in saying we could say the same of you O'Neill. I for one am glad yourself and Samantha have come through the experience safely"  
  
"Is that your way for saying your glad to have us back T?"  
  
Tealc bowed his head in agreement and placed the last dried dish on the counter.  
  
"Thanks T I appreciate it"  
  
"I think I may retire now O'Neill. Goodnight"  
  
"Night T, see you in the morning"  
  
Jack checked the windows and doors, a habit from home although probably unnecessary here and turned off the lights. He sat in his chair and watched as the fire embers burn down. He stamped the odd embers out, and after double checking all was safe set down the hall to check on Sam. 


	10. Midnight

Sam sat on the window seat and set an unfocused gaze out into the night. She yawned again and stretched her arms above her head before curling further into a ball, snuggling her body into the back of the seat. It was a full moon and its reflection shone imperfectly on the slightly rippling waters of the lake surface. She sighed and raised an arm onto the arm of the chair where it met the window and settled her chin down onto it. 

"Thought I sent you too bed?"

She smiled but did not turn, staying silent, hearing his gentle step towards her, feeling his presence behind her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"It's a beautiful night," she said in reply

"Yeah it is"

"Kind of night that makes it easier to think about stuff"

Jack stayed silent at this statement. It was true the past few nights and days he had been thinking, but after talking a little, to his friends, things seemed a little easier in his mind. Jack was a man who dealt with problems one on one with himself. It had always been that way, easier that way. People weren't dragged into the equation of dealing with his problems. Talking was a different matter. Until things were straight in his mind, he found it hard to talk which is why it had been easier to talk about his first experience with Baal more so than his most previous.

Jack pulled his eyes from his hands that had been twisting a corner of the blanket between them to look at Sam. She sat legs tucked under her, chin resting on an outstretched arm over the windowsill, gazing into the night. The moonlight reflected through the pane and lighted her face softly. He could visibly see a difference in her. The few days they had spent here had softened the frown lines, which had been a permanent look for her since they woke up in the sarcophagi.

"Wanna talk about it or."

Sam shook her head, eyes still staring into the night although Jack doubted they really saw the scene outside. Jack sighed and placed his hands on the bed leaning forward quietly studying the floor. He would sit with her but he would have to get more comfortable. He moved further up the bed and swung his legs up, leaning against the headboard, legs stretched ankles crossed. Jack folded his arms over his chest and watched Sam who hadn't moved an inch since he'd walked in. He watched her like he watched for danger on their missions, picking up even the slightest breath, the fall of a strand of hair slightly forward over her forehead. The small sigh, the twitch of her fingers on the sill. He could feel her reserve, she wanted to talk but she didn't. A want but not a need, while she considered her dilemma of wondering whether now was the right time she knew they could sit in comfortable silence, which was what she was choosing at the moment.

Sam listened as Jack edged along the bed, lifted his feet onto it and got more comfortable. She listened for his soft breathing; she could feel his eyes on her throughout his manoeuvring. She flinched her fingers softly against the sill. She did want to talk; she just didn't know how to broach the subject. Now she knew how he had felt when he had told her about Daniel helping him through his nightmare with Baal the first time. She wondered if jack had had any other visits but had a feeling he may have said something by now as she already knew about the first time it had happened. She tilted her face upward; the moon was shining steadily through the window. Her mouth twisted into a pout and she shifted in her seat to look over at Jack.

He sat upright against the headboard, legs outstretched, ankles folded. His eyes were focused directly on her, their darkness glinting slightly in the moonlight. Sam lowered her gaze and stretched softly on her chair before rising. She awkwardly clambered onto the bed next to him kneeling in the middle looking at him. He had caught her arm softly in hand as she settled and made to withdraw his hand to fold his arms back across his chest but Sam softly took his hand in hers wrapping her other hand around them. He didn't grip but let her hold his hand in hers. Sam seemed slightly comforted by the feel of his hand in hers. She could feel the roughness of it lying against her own rough callused hands. The military was not good to the hands; no matter how much you tried to keep them soft.

Jack made no attempt to question her motives as she sat looking at him, hands wrapped almost possessively around his one of his own. He could see she wanted to talk but was processing in her mind how best to put across what she needed to say. Jack smiled softly to himself. Sam did that, knew him enough to know the easier she explained her toying thoughts the better reaction she would get from him. Sure he understood all the mumbo jumbo she and others liked to spout out, but did they always have to use the big words and descriptions to explain what sometimes too him was so simple no big descriptions were needed. It was a scientist thing he had figured, and he let her get on with it. Sam saw the smile grace his lips and heaved a sigh inside, he knew she was trying to organise her thoughts too tell him what she needed to get out, like a book. They had known each other way too long; old married couple that's what they were. She took a deep breath and jumped in without anymore thought on the matter. Her eyes kept focused on their hands clasped together.

"When we were in that room, and the partition withdrew, when I saw you and Baal. I remembered that day when you told me about your first experience with Baal. What you had suffered. I could remember the sound of your voice and the openness on your face. The fear and anger, it scared me to hear it, from you of all people. Seeing you in the same position again, god I was afraid. If you had barely gotten through it the first time how was I going too. You are so much stronger, stronger than I will ever be. I have not experienced half what you have, I doubt I ever will.

I've been in the airforce since I was eighteen years old, but on the most part, I was a desk jockey, climbing my way up more with brains and commitment than out in the field. When I finally was posted at, the SGC I truthfully didn't know if I could cut it out there, although I doubt anyone ever noticed my self-doubt. That's one thing people will always say about the Carter family, we are as stubborn as mules, and always step up to the challenge. It's so easy to go into action though, we're trained to act on every instinct, every order without question, like robots. That's how it's always been with me, once my mom died. I threw myself into my commitments, join the airforce, make it too NASA. I stopped caring pretty much, kept myself to myself. Work was my life, ruled me over everything, you know that you have known me since I joined Stargate, and that's what I wanted people too see. I didnt want them to see the person because I didnt like me.

Then something happened, it wasn't instantaneous, but as we grew closer as a team, as I relied more on the stability of all of us, I guess I started to care again. It was the team, but on the most part Daniel. He wasn't military, he wasn't trained to obey every order, he got himself into trouble on the most part because of it but he still managed to pull through, and he somehow made sense in every situation. He made me remember just because you're in the force doesn't mean you're not human. We aren't machines, we do have feelings. Yeah there's a time and a place for them, but it's ok to show them once in a while.

When we lost Daniel, it was so weird. I was angry with you; you were acting so 'military' like it was another officer lost in the field, not a friend, a best friend. I was afraid the dynamics of our team were going to suffer because of it. I guess I was so desperate to talk to someone about it. It wasn't until later, when I was thinking about stuff that's what you've always been like. Your the leader of the team, you had to keep focused, letting the loss of Daniel become a priority at work wasn't a luxury you could afford. It was the same with the General, it always been that way.

When you told me about Daniel helping you through that time, what went on. I was so relieved you had someone there with you, that Daniel could still come through for you. When Baal had those devices on me, I do not think I will ever forget. Each time they were turned on, it was worst than the previous time. However, the final time, when he turned them all on, I could feel them squeezing and pulling and breaking my muscles and bones. Now and I wonder how such small devices could create so much pain and torture"

Sam physically shuddered at the memory; it was so vivid in her mind. It wasn't only the blinding, bone shattering pain which had attacked her senses but the memories of her mind taking her to a place where no one could hear her urgent cries of help, no mater how loud she screamed. She could remember the fear and anger at her friends who did not heed to her calls. However, it was another memory she could remember which is the point she was trying to relay to Jack. Sam shifted her position, her legs becoming cramped from her kneeling position on the bed. She looked down at her hands, which were strangely gripping onto Jack's hand like it was the only thing keeping her in the here and now.

Jack had stayed silent throughout her outpouring of thoughts and was still silent. Sam managed to raise her focus to his. Jack had taken in every word silently being the constant shoulder as always for Sam, or any of his team, to lean on. Sam loosed her grip on his hand and he flexed his fingers softly. He had thought Sam was going to lay alongside him but she remained facing him, stretching her legs up toward the top of the bed softly, he smiled warmly as her brow furrowed for a moment wondering how too continue. Sam didn't want to go into the details of the experience; it was enough re-living them in her own mind. But how to bring around the subject of Daniel.

"It seemed unending, timeless, my mind and body were begging for death. I could hear myself screaming for death, for peace, for the end and then something else. It suddenly stopped and the next tingling sensations I felt were warm and calming. Soothing, it was so peaceful. I wondered if maybe I'd died. I wanted to stay like that forever, could have, nothing else mattered. It wasn't like I was giving up; I just wanted to choose the easy way out for once. Deep down I knew, knew it wasn't the real me. That I had so much more to experience, to prove to others and myself."

Sam hesitated for a moment; realising Jack had taken her hand in his.

"I could sense him before I could see him. I thought that maybe it was wishful thinking, after hearing about what happened to you the last time. But it was so real, he was so real."

"Daniel"

It was a statement, fact. Jack knew when Sam had started to speak again. Sam had been ready to give up, and the only person who could reach her in that place could have been Daniel. If he hadn't, and they had escaped, who knew how she could have coped? For a moment, her saw the fragile nature of the woman he saw as a good soldier, brilliant scientist, and a constant in his life, all their lives. He watched as Sam nodded her head, her gaze averted from his, looking directly at the wall ahead. She smiled at the memory, a dreamlike memory.

"He basically told me to get myself together. In Daniel's easy going, you know I'm right kind of way"

Jack knew what she was talking about, Daniel had that permanent demeanour whether he was here in physical form or ascended state. It had been the same when he had came to Jack the first time he'd been captured by Baal.

"He came to me again. I guess the first shake wasn't enough."

"When we were losing you at the base"

Another fact, himself and the others had been willing their energies into Sam. Willing her too come back to them, she had came through so much it was too late to give up.

"I was walking, I knew he was there, Baal was behind us, home was ahead but I was quite happy to walk for the time being. I could hear everyone, knew you were calling to me, but I didn't want to face reality. Not at the time, I was quite happy walking and then I sat. Sat between past and future and waited. Daniel came, sat with me, talked. It would have been so easy for me too stay, he told me I had to come back. Not just for everyone but for you for us. I knew he was right, he knew I knew, so he smiled in that half cocked, you know I'm right way and set me back on my way. That's when I woke up, saw you and knew I'd made the right choice"

Sam sighed. There really wasn't anymore to say she was glad she had told Jack what had happened. It wasn't everything but it was enough. She didn't need to tell him Daniel had said their time would come, she just knew eventually it would. Suddenly her eyes felt much heavier and she couldn't suppress the yawn which sprang upon her..

"Go too bed Carter"

Sam lay back on the bed hands folded behind her head.

"Really cant be bothered to change" she replied lazily. She felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Jack took her hands and pulled her too a sitting position.

"Please yourself, just lay down properly"

Sam swivelled herself round as Jack reclined down further on the bed. She lay her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Jack planted a soft kiss in her hair as she drifted off to sleep.

"Sweet dreams Sam"

_-the end-_


End file.
